DVD

ERAP: Soli ko tong nabili kong DVD.
FPJ: Anong problema?
ERAP: Walang picture, tsaka sound. Sayang. Suspense thriller pa yata to. Tsk, tsk…
FPJ: Anong title?
ERAP: “The Lens Cleaner” 

Erap at the Barber Shop

Erap walks into a Barber shop to get his hair cut wearing
headphones. The Barber asks him to take off his headphones but he
refuses. So the stylist takes them off and Erap collapses to the
ground. The Barber picks up the headphones and hears, “Breathe in,
breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out…”

Erap jok

Erap and frens went to a funeral. Wondering,Erap’s fren asked him why he wanted to go home already. With a look on his Erap’s face,he said “Di nyo ba na####ta yung sign??!! REMAINS WILL BE CREMATED ALIS NA TAYO!”

Airport

Man: sir, mura pala mamili sa Singapor! Erap: Sige halika Pumunta tayo!
Man: Dito tayo sa Ordinary Sumakay!
Erap: Ayoko!Dun ako sa VIP seat!
(after a minute)
Sir bakit kayo bumalik!Erap: Sa HONG-KONGpala yung flight nun!

Payabangan!

Nagkitakita ang isang Hapon, Intsik at Pinoy!Hapon: Hoy yung taga-amin walang paa pero naging Mayor!

Intsik: Wala yan, sa amin nga pare Walang Paa’t Kamay pero naging Governador!

Pinoy: Walang-wala yang mga pinagsasasabi ninyo. Sa amin nga, WALANG ULO naging PRESIDENTE!