sharing! December 23, 2006
“Dad ang sweet ninyo talaga ni mommy ko no? Palagi kayong nagsheshare sa lahat ng bagay! Sana pag nag-asawa ako ganon din kami! Share palagi! Every night naririnig ko kayo ni mommy sabi ninyo palagi - Honey tulog na mga bata halika na sipsipin mo ang akin at kakainin ko naman sa iyo! Very sweet di po ba?
Ang Magaling na Secretary
Q: Anong sinasabi ng magaling na secretary sa boss niya? A: Magandang umaga, sir! Q: Ang mas magaling na secretary? A: Umaga na, sir! Q: Ang Pinakamagaling na secretary? A: Maga na, sir!
Bondie on diet
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.” When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?”The blonde nodded… “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day.”"From hunger, you mean?” asked the doctor.”No, from skipping.”
Dumb Blondes
A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, “51 days, 51days, 51 days!” Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!” Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. …
The Mirror
Two blondes are walking down the street. One blonde finds a little mirror, and looks in it. She looks again, and again. Puzzled, she says to her friend, “I just know I’ve seen this face before!” “Give it to me”, says the other blonde. She looks in the mirror and says, “Of course, silly! It’s me!”
Blonde,Brunette, and Pinay
A Blonde, a brunette and a pinay were lost at a dessert and were very hungry and thirsty.They were walking and the blonde bumped to a genie bottle and the genie rows from the bottle and asked one wish for each of them…The blonde went first and said,” I wish I was home right now.” And she was gone in a blimp!!Then the brunette was next and said,” I wish I was Home right now with my boyfreind.” And same as the blonde, the brunette was gone…Then came the pinay girl and came thinking really hard. Then the genie asked …
A blonde and a brunette
A blonde and a brunette was inside a convenience store when a gorgeous guy entered. He flashed them both a smile and proceeded to the counter. After purchasing he turned around towards the door and left. The brunette noticed that he had drandruff all over his shirt. She told the blonde”That guy needs Head and Shoulders.” The blonde responded “How do you give shoulders?”
The Swimming Contest
A blonde, a red head and a brunette were competing in the English Channel Breast Stroke Competition.The redhead won and the brunette came in second. However, there was no sign of the final contestant. Hours and hours went by causing grave concern and worry. Just as everyone was losing hope, the blonde finally arrived.The crowd was extremely happy and relieved to see her. They embraced the young girl as she came ashore. After all of the excitement died down, she leaned over to the judge and whispered, “I hate to be a bad loser, but I think those other girls …
TGIF
A businessman got into an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, ‘T-G-I-F’He smiled at her and replied, ‘S-H-I-T’She looked at him puzzled and said, ‘T-G-I-F’ again.He acknowledged her remark again by answering, ‘S-H-I-T.’The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possible, ‘T-G-I-F’ another time.The man smiled back at her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, ‘S-H-I-T.’The blonde finally decided to explain things and this time she said, ‘T-G-I-F. Thank Goodness It’s Friday, get it?’The man answered, ‘S-H-I-T, Sorry …
Triplet
May triplet na magkakapatid (mga babae) na ikinasal ng sabay-sabay. At sa gabi ng kanilang honeymoon ang kanilang ina ay nakikinig sa bawat pintoan sa tatlo niyang anak.(Nakinig siya sa pintoan ng kanyang unang anak)Door 1: Ah..Ah…Ah…..(parang masaya)(Nakinig naman siya sa pintoan ng kanyang pangalawang anak)Door 2: Hu…..h…..(parang umiiyak)(At nakinig din siya sa pintuan ng kanyang pangatlong anak)Door 3: (Walang ingay parang natutulog ang mga tao na nasa loob)Kinaumagahan habang kumakain ang ina kasama ang mga anak na babae(wala ang kanilang mga asawa) na nag-aalmusal isa-isa nyang tinatanong ang kanyang mga anak tungkol kung ano angkanilang ginagawa kagabi (During their …
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