A MEDICAL WARNING December 4, 2006
~~~>> The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about this dangerous virus that causes panic among Filipinos around the country. This disease is contracted everytime there is a political crisis in the Philippines. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectannader Asol (pronounced “gonna re-elect another a_s_s_hole”). Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past several years.
Promil user
An accountant asked ERAP what a BALANCE SHEET IS.ERAP answered - IT COMES OUT AFTER A BALANCE DIET.—————————–AIZA - IQ – 135 Promil user till Age 5 RYAN – IQ – 140 Promil user till age 7 JINGGOY – IQ – UNSTABLE - Promil overdose ERAP – LOW IQ – Promil user until now. Still no progress.
Different types of Farter:
PRETENDER: Farts silently then acts innocent.SHY: Farts softly then smiles.ARROGANT: Farts loudly then laughs.UNLUCKY: Tries to fart but ####s instead
ERAP’S HEART RATE
~~~ When ERAP went to Hongkong for medical reason, doctors discovered that his resting heart rate is 52. Some observers speculated that this is the first time we’ve had a President with a heart rate that matches his IQ. ~~~
THE MEANING OF POLITICS
~~~ The Real Definition of POLITICS :—- POLI= many ; TICS = bloodsuckers. ~~~
langka
Napunta sa isang isla sina Erap, Cory at Gloria dahil sa lumubog ang barko nila. Dahil nasa gitna ng pacific ocean..nawalan kaagad sila ng pag-asa para makabalik pa sa pinas. Sa gulat na lang ni Erap at may napansin syang lampara at kiniskis nya ito at isang Genie ang lumabas..Genie: bibigyan ko kayo ng isang kahilingan pero kailangang dalhan nyo ako ng isang klase ng prutas.Dagliang nagsitakbo ang tatlo para maghanap. Unang dumating si Cory at dala ang isang pirasong bayabasas. Genie: ngayon isuksok mo sa puwet mo ang dala mong prutas.Cory: Ano! ( pero sa gustong maka-uwi dahan-dahan pinasok …
arabo
Guest si Erap sa isang world confideration meeting..dahil nga mga international ang candidates kanya-kanyang greetings..special guest si King Fahad ng Saudi kaya lahat ay dito mag-gi-greet.King Fahad: Salamalaikum!Bush: Malai kon salaam!King Fahad: Salamalaikum!Blair: Malai kon salaamKing Fahad: Salamalaikum!Erap: Malaay koo saa iyoo! ngeeeek!
sex in the movies
REPORTER: Mr. President, what can you say about sex in the movies?ERAP: I’m totally against it!REPORTER: Baket po?ERAP: Napakarami namang motel diyan, baket kelangan sa movies pa?——————————————–Scenario: Nasusunog ang Malacanang! Guard: Mr. President dito po ang daan sa fire exit. Erap: Gago, diyan nga dadaan ang apoy, eh!
BIG POSSIBILITY
~~~ My alcoholic, horse thief, big fat lying cousin told me the other day that someday, he could become the President of the Philippines…….And now i’m beginning to believe him. ~~~
side epik!
Erap: Anak ayos yong date mo kagabi ha. Ano naka escore ka ba?Jinngoy: Oo dad kaya lang madali lang akong natapos.Erap: Mag-viagra ka para matagal.Jinggoy: Ayaw ko noon may side effect eh.Erap: Walang side effect yon dahil sa harap ang effect noon.
« newer posts | older posts »