with an “R”

unang araw ng klase, nagpapakilala muna ang teacher sa klase. sinulat nya ang pangalan nya sa blackboard. “miss pruke”

Ms. Pruke: kapag tinanong ko kayo bukas kailangan alam nyo ang aking pangalan alalahanin nyo with an “R”.. with an “R”… with an “R”

Class: “with an R”.. “with an R”.. “with an R”..

kinabukasan napansin ng teacher na nananaginip ng gising si juan, tinanong sia neto.

Ms. Pruke: Juan!
Juan: yes ma’am
Ms. Pruke: ano pangalan ko?
bulong ng classmate: “with an r”.. “with an r”.. “with an r”
Juan:  ma’am Ms. PREKPREK!

came from an anonymous source edit ko lang =)

Rosario pala

MADRE: ano ang apelyido mo iho?
LALAKE: alam niyo na po yun sister! lagi niyo pong hinahawakan yun!
MADRE: ha!? BAYAG ANG APELYIDO MO!!!???
LALAKE: sister naman! Rosario po ang apelyido ko 😀

 

 

tonsil

Dalagita: Mom, totoo ba na kung saan pinasok ang ari ng lalaki, dun din lumalabas ang baby?

Mom: OO anak, totoo yun!

Dalagita: Di kaya masira tonsil ko paglabas ng baby ko?

Source: Forwarded SMS

ang paghihiganti

i first read this last 1999, i already forgot the source, i hope you like it.

Isang gabi, naglalakad ang isang lalaki sa may tulay nang may makita siyang babaeng nasa taas ng gilid nito at magtatangkang magpatiwakal. “Huwag,” sigaw ng lalaki. At sa kabutihang palad ay nakumbinsi ang babae at siya’y bumaba.

Lalaki: Ano bang problema mo’t naiisipan mong gawin yan?
Babae: Kasi, iniwan ako ng boypren ko’t sumama sa ibang babae.
Lalaki: Miss, ganyan din ang problema ko pero di ko inisip na magpakamatay.
Babae: So, anong gagawin natin? Nag-isip sandali ang lalaki at sinabi…
Lalaki: Kung gusto mo, maghiganti tayo sa kanila.
Babae: Paanong paghihiganti?
Lalaki: Alam mo na ang ibig kong sabihin…(sabay kindat sa babae na nakuha naman ni babae ang parinig na yon)

Maya maya’y nasa isang kuwarto na sila ng motel at nangyari na nga ang ‘di dapat mangyari….Nang makaraos si lalaki, nagsindi siya ng yosi. Nang halos filter na lang ay biglang nagsabi si babae
Babae: Maghiganti uli tayo.

Medyo pagod, pero pinagbigyan uli niya ang request ni babae. Nang makaraos uli, nagsindi uli si lalaki ng yosi. Nasa kalahati pa lang ang yosi nang:
Babae: Maghiganti uli tayo.

Medyo nangangatog na ang mga tuhod pero dahil sa hiling, muling pinagbigyan niya si babae. Muling nakaraos ang dalawa. Nagsindi uli si lalaki ng yosi. Unang hitit pa lang niya ay:
Babae: Ganti uli tayo.

Talagang lupaypay na si manoy niya pero para huwag mapahiya ay muling pinagbigyan niya ang kahilingan ng babae. Pagkatapos kumuha siya ng yosi. Sisindihan palang nang biglang:
Babae: Ganti uli tayo.
Lalaki: (Pagod na) Tang*na mo, patawarin na natin sila!!!!

  😀 😀

69

BABAE: Honey, mag-69 tayo
LALAKE: Ano yon?
BABAE: Ituturo ko sa yo.
(nakaposition na sila e napautot ng 4x si babae).
LALAKE: Ayoko na !!! Di ko na kakayanin ang 65 pang utot!!

Source: galing po sa sms message sakin hehe

Beer

Botong was drinking at a bar and the bartender came over to tell him he had a telephone call. Botong had just bought the beer and he didn’t want anyone to drink it. So, he wrote a little sign and left it by his beer that said: ‘I spit in my beer.’

When Botong returned to the his seat there was another note beside his beer:

‘I spit in your beer too!’

I originally read these on an indian site. 🙂

password

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.

The husband was in a rather humorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife’s attention. So, when the computer asked him to
enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was keying in.

P

E

N

I

S

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

**** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH*****

Note: taken from an anonymous source, if you are the owner of the joke and wanted some credits, please reply and we will provide you proper credits for the nice work.

my short term mind.

I came across a simple joke on the internet the other day, then i laughed so much and not realizing i closed my browser. went ahead with the days work, then suddenly for no reason at all, i cleared my history and temporary internet files. went ahead with work, then again something hit my mind, it was the joke i’ve read hours ago, i tried to figure out which site i found it but sad to say, i can no longer find it again, i think i really have a very short term mind hehe. It was by then i realized i’ll put this blog at place, to put these jokes on one place, so everytime i want to read them again, i can find them here. and even share them with everyone. =)